Louis Vuitton

She arrived last night with a baise-en-ville big enough to hold wardrobe for the entire cast of the upcoming production of Salomé at the Opéra National de Paris. She does not know half-measures. Neither does she know me as she says I need change. I think I have changed though not necessarily for the better. I made it all the way to Fouquet's on foot the other day but I'm not certain this is an improvement on using the hotel's chauffeured Mercedes. Time will tell.

Yesterday, a fellow offered to buy Oscar, my Ferrari 599. I told him I still needed a few more near-death experiences with the car to be able to complete my memoirs for which my publisher is importuning me to see a manuscript. They are also asking me to change the title from "The Worst Happened, Then We Moved On" to "The Worst Happened, Then I Moved On", but since others were involved in varying degrees I thought they should be acknowledged in the title, at least, if not in the book itself.

My iPhone coach seems to believe only a few of my voice mails were hacked during the period spoken of in the press and publication of these would land only The Chad (my agent) in jail, which is where he currently finds himself in matters unrelated so apparently there's no harm. This is certainly cause for celebration and I believe I'll take She to dinner downstairs at Le Cinq.

DSK

If one true thing can be gleaned from the DSK episode it is that it pays to hire good writers. I suppose the second meaningful lesson is that one should do the re-writes before releasing the story to the public.

Whether or not DSK is a fan of Steve McQueen is not known. What is clear, however, is that DSK followed McQueen's on-screen example. Steve knew that the others do the talking and the star reacts. The opposing party in the instant case did not know this and, to some extent, was obligated to talk inasmuch as she filed the complaint. One cannot file an accusation and tell the police "I'll get back to you" when they ask for specifics. Thus, the story went out before a story conference could be convened and the subsequent re-writes are working against rather than in favor of the production.

Civil proceedings are always about money and never about justice. A judge cannot award justice but he or she can award damages that are financial in nature. The best one can hope for in a modern criminal courtroom is procedure and if that doesn't send a shiver up your spine, nothing ever will.

Hollywood has taught us many things and much of the current unpleasantness could have been avoided if either of the parties had seen a movie or two. In fact, I have a short list for both of them though they feature different titles. My advice to anyone wishing to chart an easier course through life would be to see good films and stop typing with your thumbs.