Bush vetoes bill to ban waterboarding

Torture now has its official stamp of approval from the President. Gone are the days when Americans, pardon me, the United States can feel superior to other nations of the world and we can now openly lay claim to the basest instincts that we possess. Fans of irony will savor the fact that this endorsement for abusive tactics comes from a man who proclaims an abiding faith in God and the Bible. Don't our adversaries also proclaim an abiding faith in...Maybe it isn't irony at all.

My question is how this will impact on domestic abuse statutes assuming one claims that the assault was part of a marital interrogation. Inquiring minds want to know and if a husband or wife deems that enhanced techniques are called for...

At what age can we begin to instruct our youngsters in the application of enhanced interrogation techniques? Would it be appropriate for the Boy Scouts of America to create a merit badge for waterboarding? Perhaps the Girl Scouts could address the issue, as well.

President Bush lauds waterboarding as one of the 'valuable tools' to be employed in this era of 'valuable ethics'. Though I've heard that we had attained Mission Accomplished status quite some time ago, I realize that I am not one to judge. Actually, no one is in a position to judge; not unless they are ready to have their livelihood imperiled.

So, for the good of our continued ability to pay the mortgage, let's hear it for waterboarding!