Stockholm Syndrome

My sponsor has noticed a growing trend amongst peer pressure victims and fear-biters world wide to join and clamber for "Green" causes so as to feel good about themselves and, additionally, promote their wares. Being aware, as they are, of my branding acumen and extensive history in psy-ops, they asked if a campaign couldn't be created that would immunize them against this sort of adverse propaganda and make the world a better place for their installations, which convert wholesale quantities of fresh water into sewage and spew an amount of particulates into the air sufficient to bring down a 747 should one attempt to fly through the semi-solid haze lingering above their many smokestacks scattered around the planet.

I suggested a campaign that positioned the Earth as a terrorist kidnapper holding mankind hostage and slowly killing us off one-by-one using the Stockholm Syndrome to explain why certain misguided individuals felt the need to browbeat the rest of us on the subject of ecology. They liked the idea very much and asked if I thought the message would carry. After a great deal of thought, I said that it would. All they need do is add a musical track that would appeal to fourteen year-olds in the background and their troubles will be over.

They wired the money straight into my account!